Ledger DC Journal - News, Politics & Crime

Washington—Despite making Samuel Alito’s wife cry, Senate Democrats plan a filibuster bloodbath. The unrelenting force—led by Democratic Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts—is largely said to be in defense of abortion and the federal judiciary. A meeting, tapped for Wednesday, January 18, 2005, will allow Democrats plenty of time to go through transcript records and dig up more dirt on Alito.

The ease at which Alito cruised through confirmation hearings left Democrats and mainstream Americans reeling at the poor job Congress has done. Congress’ record has been mired as of late, allowing illegal phone tapping by a Bush administration that has run rampant all over civil liberties.

Abortion experts have concluded that if Sam Alito is confirmed to the Supreme Court of the United States, more civil liberties of women and minorities will be trampled over, including reducing effective birth control methods for promiscuous teens, while forcing them to provide food for mouths they can’t afford to feed.

According to NewsMax and Carl Limbacher, New York City is the undisputed abortion capital, with 40 out of every 100 women in the Big Apple opting to use the controversial procedure to end their pregnancies. Even in Milan, Italy on Saturday, thousands marched to keep their liberal abortion laws. To now confirm Alito to the U.S. Supreme Court would slap the rest of the world in the face and further spread hate for America. Confirming Alito with reckless abandon, would certainly cut ties with Europe, after nearly 40 years of good will.

“We have to at least try to get along with the rest of the world,” stated Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY. “We’ve lost so much respect over the last five years. It’s going to be difficult to get it back. And we don’t need to be taking a woman’s right to choose away either. That kind of action would mean certain death for America.”

“Abortion is crucial to the New York economy,” commented Sen. Charles Schumer, D-NY. “This allows more women to have careers that otherwise wouldn’t, boosting our tax base and providing big government programs for unwed mothers. So we’re going to fight, fight like never before. It’s going to get downright ugly in the U.S. Senate this week.”

Senator Dianne Feinstein noted that she will not vote to confirm Alito, based on his conservative record and his willingness to leave authority in the hands of President Bush and U.S. Congress. She acknowledged that Alito kept his true views secret during last week’s hearings, and that Wednesday’s meetings will help determine whether or not he ever serves another day in the federal judiciary.

“We’ve got to do more,” said Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D- CA. “Women are counting on us to get rid of this man. Alito even had the unmitigated gall to proclaim himself a conservative. That, in itself, is enough to keep him out of the U.S. Supreme Court. Every one knows you’ve got to be far more open-minded to be on the Supreme Court. Just take a look at Justice Sandra Day O’Connor.”

Alito is going to get a tougher ride than John Roberts, who sailed through the Senate on a 78-22 vote last September. His far lengthier career as a judge offers far more meat and more of an opportunity to dig up dirt. The Supreme Court is in transition, and swapping the seat of O’Connor for Alito would leave women and children across America hardest hit.

There is nothing more powerful as that of a justice of the U.S. Supreme Court. If confirmed in his post, Samuel Alito will help screw up the character of national life potentially for decades to come, ruling not only on the most contentious issues of today, but on future cases of great consequence. His confirmation would send America back to a time when women, minorities and children were exploited with utter amusement.

“I’m scared to death,” said Sandy Grossburger, a 23-year old single mother of six children from Boston, Massachusetts. “If my abortion rights are taken away, my seventh child will starve to death. It just isn’t fair. Please fight for my rights, Senator Kennedy. Please, I’m begging you!”

“God help us all,” screamed a hyperventilating Maureen Roberts, a 32-year old prescription drug salesman and Worcester, Massachusetts resident. “I’ve been on Prosac ever since Alito’s hearings and now I don’t know what to do. I know Senator Kennedy can bring the long awaited fight I’ve been waiting for. The women of Massachusetts say yes to Kennedy and no to Alito!”

So, it falls to the U.S. Senate to do its job and exhaustively probe the nominee over the weeks ahead, before deciding whether to consent to his appointment. There is nothing in his past to rule Alito out, but Democrats must get nasty. They must get downright bloodthirsty if they’re going to prevent the regression of a country under a dictator’s thumb.

“We’re going to probe this candidate until we run him out of the judiciary,” fired Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA. “This man is dangerous to Americans. I will never forget the women of Massachusetts in my deliberations. By the time I get through digging, Alito is going to be too embarrassed to even go to work. We’re going to run this fascist out of America! So bring on the filibuster!”

“I’m all for a filibuster,” said Sen. Harry Reid, D-NV. “There’s no way this man is getting on the Supreme Court. We own this town and we’re going to continue to own it. Conservative Americans will just have to remain calm while we excrete this poor example of a judge.”

It has become abundantly clear that Democrats are going to fight to prevent a conservative Supreme Court. They’re going to fight in the streets and in the mainstream media. They’re going to wage war against an ideology that offers nothing for the people. They’re going to create a filibuster bloodbath in order to protect women, abortion and the federal judiciary.

In order to protect America, Democrats will never surrender while they still have the means to resist.

“Sean Hannity is always flapping his Long Island gums about his blood oath,” fired Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-MA. “Well, getting rid of Alito is my blood oath. It is my promise. It is my solemn vow to America. I will never surrender my party’s power. Never!”

Political Satirist Chris Davis is the author of Elective Decisions and In Defense of Liberty, two political thrillers from the Whiskey Creek Press.