Ledger Pop Journal - Celebrity News & Sports

Bachelor Jake Pavelka & Vienna Girardi (pictured) have kissed on the red carpet at the 82nd Annual Academy Awards as Jake revs up his dancing shoes for reality TV round two with ABC on Dancing with the Stars. Before he gets ready to move his feet on the dance floor, it is time for the final review of After the Final Rose, which now apparently leads directly to DWTS.

Vienna Girardi. (ABC)

Welcome to a special edition of Think-It and thank you for waiting patiently for my take on the After the Rose show. I’ll disclose the fact that I’m feeling a bit cranky and edgy today for a host of reasons, including but not limited to the fact that I have to look at Jake on television strolling around various cities with that smug I’m-better-than-you smile on his face in that skin tight purple turtle neck that someone convinced him looked bitchin’ along with Vienna and her rusty reputation acting like both of them are better than what we all know to be true.


I honestly hope we’re all wrong. I really do. I wouldn’t take that bet to Vegas, though. I’m not exactly taking off the gloves this week, but be prepared for me to unload a bit more than usual.

Let’s get to it.

Immediately following Jake’s big choice—which was made in November—we are treated to the After the Final Rose show—taped in February—in order to get an update on our new couple, give Tenley an attempt at closure, confirm that Ali is the new bachelorette, and break the news that Jake has agreed to be on Dancing with the Stars (WTF?).


Apparently, the box step is taking the place of the paso doble this season. I doubt he’ll be setting the flamenco afire, but it’s comforting to know that if I ever become a commercial pilot, I’ll have months of vacation time to find myself or whatever.

Woody Allen said, “In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.” That’s exactly what happened with this show. The entire thing was as contrived and insincere as Jake himself and, sadly, it came off that way. Even Harrison’s pull with the audience couldn’t rescue the show and at times, he looked embarrassed. Nonetheless, I watched the whole damn thing. Go figure.

Of course, we begin with the predictable, canned montage of Jake’s “amazing journey” from start to finish as we relive every aspect of the exact same montage from the Final Episode that ended three minutes prior to the After the Rose show. Noticeably absent were any shots of Jake on his moped with that giant helmet. It’s refreshing to know that ABC pays attention to its focus groups.


I found myself nostalgic for the giant helmet. Life was so much easier back then, wasn’t it? Perhaps ABC will see the error of its ways and film a Bachelor: After Jake Stopped Wearing the Helmet episode where we, the viewing audience, will be allowed to say a proper goodbye to the helmet and move on with our mundane lives. I wouldn’t take that to Vegas either.

Harrison enters in is customary tailored navy suit with a blue/gray oxford and monochromatic tie carefully selected to blend gently into the softly lit, blue neon round stage surrounded in Zen-like peacefulness by fresh roses and white candles. He attempts to convince us that we’re in for “surprises” and that Jake’s choice came from his heart.


Fat chance on both of those. It was a lot like watching someone with a pair of twos attempt to get his opponent to go all in for fear of him holding a royal flush. This show should have been royally flushed in favor of a rerun. You can only run the bucket down the well so many times before it runs dry. Regardless, I continued to watch.

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