Ledger Pop Journal - Celebrity News & Sports

In a better world, former troubled child TV stars simply faded away. We would hear of them every once in a while to remind us of their past glories. They would rob video stores, beat up transvestites, or overdose alone and unloved in a crackhouse they would not have dared visit in their glory days. These actions from formerly charming and cherubic little tykes grown old, fat, and bitter have always been cautionary tales. If you have kids, and you want them to be your meal ticket, be prepared to pay the price when they eventually bring shame to the family name.

In our world, former child TV stars and basic cable networks have no shame. MTV's "The Real World" re-wrote the rules in 1991 when it came to the lengths people would travel to achieve fame. "Reality TV" has never been "real," nor is it legitimate television.

"The Real World" was a somewhat humble program where amateur young people agreed to have their lives documented around the clock for a few months. Eventually, the medium quickly began to eat itself. Humility and self-respect gave way to a desperate grab for attention.

With Vh1's "Celebreality," things have changed. Here, the formerly famous try jumping back on the celebrity bandwagon. In "My Fair Brady," Christopher "Peter Brady" Knight is a 47 year old retired computer entrepeneur living with Adrienne Curry, the 22 year old winner from the first season of "America's Next Top Model." The two met on Vh1's "Surreal Life 4," and here they tread lightly through the early stages of cohabitation. Nothing is motivated by anything but a pitiful, cynical opprtunism. In the first episode, Florence Henderson, Knight's TV mom and now a licensed therapist, drops by to offer some relationship counseling.

All this is harmless compared to "Breaking Bonaduce," which really scrapes the bottom of the barrel. Here, former "Partridge Family" star Danny Bonaduce brings the cameras into his marriage therapy session. He confesses on his radio show to having cheated on his wife. He threatens his therapist with bodily harm if the man brings up the issue of Danny's kids. Watch alcoholic Danny get drunk.

Watch crazy Danny substitute liquor for steroids and go into frightening rages, all for the camera. Nothing is learned here. There is hope of recovery if we gaze at a car crash as we drive past it. Here, the major players are dead on arrival and they just want us to join in their misery.

Lines frequently get crossed for the sake of network programming. One man's psychodrama infotainment eventually becomes revealed for what it is; desperation. Bonaduce feels obligated to the industry he believes he nearly ruined, which is why he drives his 9 year old daughter to auditions. Christopher Knight walks through his show with a dazed doofus grin on his face, and Adrienne Curry whines about being misunderstood and needing love.

If we turn off our televisions and stop laughing at them, maybe they'll go away.

Christopher J. Stephens is an adjunct college english instructor for Northeastern University, Wentworth Institute of Technology, Western New England College, and Corinthian Colleges, Inc.