Ledger Pop Journal - Celebrity News & Sports

This Week In Tabloid Tuesday: Britney Spears Kicks Out Kevin, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to wed in Cambodia, Jessica Simpson Had Plastic Surgery, Jennifer Aniston Is Out Of Control, Courteney Cox’s Hubby and the Stripper, The Best and Worst Awards of the Week and much, much more.

Remember the old, old song ‘Send in the Clowns?’ Well, this week it’s more like ‘Send In The CLONES.’ If you take a look at InTouch, Star and Us Weekly, you’ll think they all copied from each other.

Care to guess who the celebs are this week? You’re right! Britney Spears, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and, of course, more than you ever wanted to know about Jessica Simpson and her ill-fated romance.

Here’s what the tabloids are touting this week…

Jessica and Nick, Vince and Jennifer, Britney and K-Fed, and Much, Much More

InTouch and Star are nearly identical twins. In Touch features Jessica on the cover with the tantalizing headline EXCLUSIVE … JESSICA’S BREAKUP DIARY … THE MOMENT SHE KNEW IT WAS OVER AND WHY SHE MIGHT REUINTE WITH NICK. Pretty enticing stuff… unless you make a mistake and actually read the story inside.

Tabloid Tuesday opened to the page and was all prepared to read Jessica’s Diary – her own thoughts put down on paper forever – good gossipy tidbits. WRONG!!!

Us Weekly suckered us in. There is no diary. Worse, there’s nothing from Jessica! It’s all done by “…examining the words, actions and confidences revealed to In Touch,” – nothing that even comes close to being “Jessica’s Breakup Diary.” It’s amazing how gullible Us Weekly thinks the readers are – so don’t prove them right.

Star Magazine steers a new course in the continuing Jessica saga with the headline NEW REVEALING PHOTOS! DID JESSICA GET PLASTIC SURGERY? Accompanying this teaser headline are 2 photos cleverly entitled “Then” and “Now” showing Jessica with lips that are “poutier than usual.”

Tabloid Tuesday had to take a look inside. Her lips do look “poutier than usual” but what about the plastic surgery? Well… the story says… “Though her rep denies she’s cosmetically enhanced her kisser, plastic surgeons contacted by Star believe it’s definitely possible. None of them have treated Simpson.”

And then there’s the Britney Spears saga… InTouch, Us Weekly and Star all tell us that Britney has kicked Kevin out.

UsWeekly jumps to the front with a huge cover story: BRITNEY’S TEARFUL DECISION .. GET OUT! .. KEVIN MOVES INTO A HOTEL! SHE CANCELS HIS CREDIT CARDS, TAKES BACK HIS CAR & SPENDS HER B-DAY
ALONE.

Star Magazine chimes in with almost the same headline – BRIT BOOTS KEVIN! SHE CANCELS HIS CREDIT CARDS, FREEZES HIS BANK ACCOUNTS & TOWS AWAY HIS $270,000 CAR.

InTouch simply announces SEPARATED! KEVIN ABANDONS BRITNEY ON HER BIRTHDAY.

So, was Kevin kicked out by Britney or did he abandon her? It’s 2 votes for kicked out, 1 vote for abandoned. What does the ENQUIRER have to say? It’s not on the cover, but the story inside tells us that Britney has “removed” Kevin Federline’s belongings and sent his $250,000 silver Ferrari Testarossa back to the dealer. (Hmmmm… it was worth $270,000 in the Star story and it was a silver Ferrari 360 Spider. Us Weekly also says it was a Ferrari 360 Modena Spyder but it cost $250,000. Your choice – a Testarossa for $250,000, a 360 Spyder for $270,000 or a 360 Spyder for $250,000 - but it’s definitely gone!)

But the critical question was never answered by the Enquirer – the story says “She told him to get his stuff and get out…” but later says he returned and “took off again- and has not returned since.”

Okay, he was either kicked out, abandoned her or was kicked out and then took-off. But, just like the Ferrari (Testarossa/Spider), he’s definitely gone.

Brad Pitt went 4 for 4 – making the cover of all 4 tabs.

The Star tell us BRAD ADOPTS ANGIE’S KIDS: NEW YEAR’S WEDDING ON! Over at InTouch, they tell us that BRAD’S A DAD! And Us Weekly reports that BRAD ADOPTS! PLUS: WEDDING PLANS. The folks at the Enquirer offer up REVEALED: WHERE BRAD WILL WED ANGELINA – PHOTOS INSIDE!

Well of course Tabloid Tuesday has to take a look at where the wedding of the century (gag!) was going to take place… are you ready for this? The Enquirer says the two will wed at “The Ta Phrom temple in Angkor (Cambodia) ... the grounds of Ta Phrom, where she filmed scenes for the first Tomb Raider Movie…” Make a note! But you better do it in pencil. Seems there’s a Cambodia law that a bride needs permission from her father if he’s still alive (how in the hell could you get permission if he was dead!) to get married. According to the Enquirer “This means Angelina will have to make peace with her dad, actor Jon Voight. Angelina is reportedly no longer speaking to Voight, 66, after he discussed her personal life in public.”

While you’re at it, mark this date on your calendar: New Year’s Day – that’s the day, according to Star that Brad and Angelina will get married. Where? Well, according to Star “…the low-key wedding may take place at Angelina’s English country estate, or more likely, in Cambodia, where she adopted Maddox and where she was recently granted citizenship.”

What else are the tabloids dishing up this week? In Touch tells us about JEN’S SHOCK! HER NEW TOPLESS PHOTOS, TROUBLE WITH VINCE… while Us Weekly reminds us that NICK & JESS RUSH TO DIVORCE…

The Enquirer offers up their own Jen story: THE UNTOLD STORY … JEN OUT OF CONTROL … WILD BOOZING … SECRET CAR CRASH … COPS QUIZ VINCE OVER DUI … HIS SHOCKING VIOLENT PAST…

Now you know Tabloid Tuesday had to take a peek inside… according to the story, the couple were driving near Scottsdale, Arizona, caught the attention of a local police officer who pulled them over and gave Vince a field sobriety test. Then the officer asked Jennifer to step out of the car. The officer told Vince that they “weren’t going to arrest him but neither he nor Jennifer would be allowed to drive in their intoxicated state. They had to leave Vince’s car in the parking lot and catch another ride back to the hotel.”

Pretty serious stuff, don’t you think? But here’s the best part – according to the police in Scottsdale, it’s all true! The story continues: “Scottsdale police spokesman Mark Clark said officers would normally allow the passenger to drive if they appeared sober. But he added: “’In this case, the officer strongly suspected Jennifer Aniston had too much to drink and advised them both to get a taxi.”’

The Enquirer also offers up STRIPPER TELLS ALL! COURTNEY COX BETRAYED BY HUBBY… and SHOCKING TWIST IN KILLING THAT GRIPPED AMERICA … CARLIE MURDER SECRET… And in case you needed to know anything more about Katie Couric’s plans to move to CBS, the Enquirer serves up MATT’S RAGE OVER KATIE’S $100M TO STAY AT TODAY!

MEN.COM WORST OF THE WEEK:

IN TOUCH

Tabloid Tuesday felt completely ripped-off after reading the so-called ‘breakup diary’ of Jessica Simpson – a perfect example of the old ‘bait & switch’ con – promise the reader something and give them nothing. Worse than nothing. The whole thing was a scam to get you to spend your hard-earned money. Don’t get conned.

MEN.COM BEST OF THE WEEK:

Star Magazine

They get points for paying attention to photos – that’s how they came up with Jessica and her “pouty” lips.

IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO BUY ONE TABLOID THIS WEEK:

The National ENQUIRER.

At least you’ll be able to read more than Britney, Jessica and Angelina.

NAMES YOU’LL BE HEARING THIS WEEK:

Brad Pitt adopts Angelina Jolie’s kids, Jessica Simpson has new lips, Britney Spears kicked out hubby Kevin Federline, Oprah and David Letterman get it on, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s new daughter, Jennifer Lopez wants to be a mother, Tom Cruise thinks he’s an OB-GYN, Jennifer Aniston is a wild child, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban still think no one knows about their romance, Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU) is pregnant.

Tabloid Tuesday is a weekly feature of Men.Com.

Copyright 2005, Men.Com. All rights reserved.